From time to time, when a "fortune" in a fortune cookie entertains me, I keep the little slip of paper, although I don't always keep track of it after that. Years ago, I was in the habit of taping strange or funny fortunes to postcards and mailing them to friends, but that was back when I sent real mail and had stamps lying around on a regular basis.
Recently, I was looking for something and sort of tidying my office at the same time -- not in a particularly effectual way, but it does look a bit better when the piles of desk-stuff are neater, if not fewer or smaller -- and I found a cache of fortunes that had somehow collected in an office-eddy. I am not entirely sure I meant to keep each of these, but together they represent some important advice about Life and Other Things. If I followed the advice on these little slips of paper, I would be a better person, and I would have more fun.
The fortunes can be divided into categories:
ADVICE: HOW TO BE A BETTER PERSON (or professor)
Your message must focus on the receiver. Ignore yourself.
I remember getting this fortune while I was working on a grant proposal; I think that is why I kept it. Substitute "reviewer" for "receiver".
Slaying the dragon of delay is no sport for the short-winded.
In fact, I regularly slay the dragon of delay, but some people I work with are really really good friends with this dragon and keep it as sort of a pet (you know who you are).
Your wit is sharp and quick. Avoid using sarcasm on an unsuspecting victim.
..... [<-- note that I am taking this fortune to heart right here, right now]
I SEE TRAVEL IN YOUR FUTURE
Ancient sites beckon you to hit the road soon. You will soon be crossing great ocean waters for an incredibly rewarding experience.
I love to travel, I love ancient sites. They beckon.
.. AND GRANTS
Your original ideas will get you well-deserved recognition.
I was writing a grant proposal when I got that fortune as well. I just don't remember if I got that particular grant. I should be more scientific about this. Do I get more grants after getting fortunes like that one, or do I eat more Chinese food when I am working on a proposal?
BUT SOMETIMES I GET A FORTUNE INTENDED FOR SOMEONE ELSE
Your sparkling eyes shed a healing light on those you meet.
You will advance socially without effort on your part.
ha ha ha ha ha ha
Happy Friday the 13th.