We, Robot

Dear Female Science Professor,



In your blog, you describe many of your bad experiences during grad school and through the tenure track. I have noticed that while you convey why some of those periods of time were very difficult, you do not write much about how you felt and what you thought about yourself. Do you choose not to write about these things for a particular reason, or do you think you sufficiently do?




It's very encouraging to read your blog entries, as they provide many of us with a sense of solidarity. However, do you experience emotion?




If you were back in graduate school/post-doc/early-track right now going through a difficult time, read a blog like yours, and commented on some of the entries, could you have sounded as angsty and lost as some of the women who leave comments, desperate to receive some form of cyber-comfort? The amount of composure in your entries is suspicious.




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11:10 18/08/2011



To our valued reader,



We here at FSP would like to thank you for your comment. We are processing your text to identify key words. You will soon receive an automatically generated reply that best suits your needs. If you have any questions, please refer to our FAQ page. If you do not find the information you need, please contact one of our customer service representatives.



FSP



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13:23 18/08/2011



To our valued reader,



The FSP team has diagnosed your problem and suggests that you consider upgrading to the FSP With Emotions Blog (FSP-WEB). Access to FSP-WEB is provided for a limited time only at $29.99/month.



FSP-WEB provides the full suite of emotions that are lacking from the Classic FSP version of the blog. Features of FSP-WEB include all of the creative obscenities and symbolic screaming that you will find on many other blogs.



FSP-WEB is written by a team of people who try to appear younger than those who compose the no-cost Classic FSP. We realize that many people cannot handle the mature content of Classic FSP, which is apparently written from the point of view of a middle-aged woman who is decades past her early-career experiences and therefore no longer in touch with her feelings. We are pleased to provide you with a more suitable option that better meets your needs.



** WARNING: FSP-WEB contains occasional mention -- and graphic images -- of cats. There is no feline-free version of FSP. **



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FSP 5.2 cannot process text. End of logic encountered. No response to keywords {amount of composure, suspicious}

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