Thanks to all who submitted entries to The Cover Letter contest. Some of these were very memorable examples of the CL genre. I apologize if I didn't post yours; I read and appreciated all entries, but think I've probably posted enough (for now). I feel that it is time to VOTE.
Before you vote, however, I think it is important to mention that at least 99.42% of real cover letters that accompany applications for tenure-track positions* are professional, inoffensive letters; it is the others that are much more memorable**, and it is these we celebrate in this 'contest'.
Those who look at entitled, patronizing, and/or obnoxious cover letters as a symptom of all that is corrupt about academia should not focus on these outliers. It is a bit of a leap to assume that someone writing an egomaniacal (or whatever) CL will be offered a job just because they say they are so awesome. Also, I believe that at least some of the apparently obnoxious letters were actually written by well-meaning people who just didn't know how to write a letter; maybe they were told to "sell" themselves in the letter, and didn't know how to do this in a non-obnoxious way.
In any case, it is time now to vote for your favorite. A key is provided below, with numbers keyed to entries. Vote for your favorite cover letter, using the number associated with the relevant entry. (I have not included the last entry because it was just a copy of something that has appeared elsewhere.)
1: Dec 23, 2011: letter from a nanoherpetologist, containing the phrase "A copy of my press releases.." (is available on request)
2: Dec 26, 2011: Dear Search Committee Chair. This one sparked a useful discussion of whether it is OK to address such a letter in a generic way.
3: Dec 27, 2011: "Herewith I submit to you my application materials thereof.."
4: Dec 28, 2011: Clueless Cover Letter.
5: Dec 29, 2011: I Plan To Collaborate With You
6: Dec 30, 2011: I Would Consider Being a Postdoc in Your Lab
7: Jan 02, 2012: I Am Exactly What You Are Looking For
8: Jan 03, 2012: I Can Tell You About My Vision
9: Jan 04, 2012: Sent From My iPhone
10: Jan 05, 2012: Your Research is Systematic and Penetrating
11: Jan 09, 2012: I Really Really Want To Work For You Now
(There seems to be a problem with the voting for CL #11. The html code looks fine, so instead of fixing the main poll, I have added separate poll for 11. If you want to vote for #11, vote in the green poll in the lower box.)
Before you vote, however, I think it is important to mention that at least 99.42% of real cover letters that accompany applications for tenure-track positions* are professional, inoffensive letters; it is the others that are much more memorable**, and it is these we celebrate in this 'contest'.
Those who look at entitled, patronizing, and/or obnoxious cover letters as a symptom of all that is corrupt about academia should not focus on these outliers. It is a bit of a leap to assume that someone writing an egomaniacal (or whatever) CL will be offered a job just because they say they are so awesome. Also, I believe that at least some of the apparently obnoxious letters were actually written by well-meaning people who just didn't know how to write a letter; maybe they were told to "sell" themselves in the letter, and didn't know how to do this in a non-obnoxious way.
* but, alas, many more cover letters sent to potential postdoc supervisors are strange and/or obnoxious.
** I still remember one from >15 years ago that stated that the applicant had given "countless" presentations at conferences; we all counted, of course. He had given 16. Impressive, perhaps, but a number that could be easily counted by most hiring committee members. I remember almost nothing else about that search.
In any case, it is time now to vote for your favorite. A key is provided below, with numbers keyed to entries. Vote for your favorite cover letter, using the number associated with the relevant entry. (I have not included the last entry because it was just a copy of something that has appeared elsewhere.)
1: Dec 23, 2011: letter from a nanoherpetologist, containing the phrase "A copy of my press releases.." (is available on request)
2: Dec 26, 2011: Dear Search Committee Chair. This one sparked a useful discussion of whether it is OK to address such a letter in a generic way.
3: Dec 27, 2011: "Herewith I submit to you my application materials thereof.."
4: Dec 28, 2011: Clueless Cover Letter.
5: Dec 29, 2011: I Plan To Collaborate With You
6: Dec 30, 2011: I Would Consider Being a Postdoc in Your Lab
7: Jan 02, 2012: I Am Exactly What You Are Looking For
8: Jan 03, 2012: I Can Tell You About My Vision
9: Jan 04, 2012: Sent From My iPhone
10: Jan 05, 2012: Your Research is Systematic and Penetrating
11: Jan 09, 2012: I Really Really Want To Work For You Now
(There seems to be a problem with the voting for CL #11. The html code looks fine, so instead of fixing the main poll, I have added separate poll for 11. If you want to vote for #11, vote in the green poll in the lower box.)